Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Intelligence Looks Good on Everyone.

Friends. Frenemies. Enemies. AKA, People of Facebook. Please, Read. It's for your own good.

AMEN.

I don't claim to know everything on this topic, or to be without flaw. But. I feel this needs to be said.

Your horrible grammar is making you look like a complete idiot. Seriously. There is a vast difference between an innocent typo once in awhile, and horrible, HORRIBLE grammar. So here are some pointers for you:

1. Defiantly and Definitely are NOT THE SAME WORD. Even though you were probably just butchering the spelling and spell check decided to go with "defiantly", that doesn't mean it's the correct word for what you're trying to say.

Defiantly: Adv. Showing defiance: She defiantly continued using bad grammar. 
Definitely: Adv. Without doubt (used for emphasis): I will definitely notice your bad grammar.

2. The age old They're, Their, There. This one baffles me every time I see them misused. It's so easy to remember. So obvious.

They're: They are (Get it? They're, they are. Hey. It's just the two words smushed together. Imagine that.)
Their: Possessive. Belonging to or associated with a person or thing. Their minds were made up to use bad grammar. 
There: Adv. In, at, or to that place or position: The people there do not know how to use proper grammar.

Grammar humor

This is awesome and should be done.

3. Are and Our. People. This one is just sad.

Are: Those girls are always sounding like idiots.
Our: Our dog uses better grammar than you. 

4. Pare, Pear, Pair. Seriously???

Pare: Verb. Trim (something) by cutting away its outer edge. I will pare your fingers if you say you bought a new pare of jeans one more time.
Pear: Noun. A Yellowish or brownish-green edible fruit that is typically narrow at the stalk and wider toward the base, with sweet, slightly gritty flesh. This pear can spell better than you.
Pair: Noun. A set of two things used together or regarded as a unit. A pair of scissors. 

5. #4 leads to my next grammar pet peeve. It is, in fact, a PAIR of scissors. Not "A scissors" As mentioned above, "pair" (in this case) refers to something regarded as a unit. Scissors. The word "Scissors" is a plural noun. And no, I am sorry, This cannot be remedied by saying "a scissor", because, "scissor" in fact, is a verb.

If you're reading this, Hubsy, yes, that was directed at you. Heh. It's okay, I still love you. ;)

6. To and Too.

To: Preposition. Expressing motion in the direction of (a particular location). I don't think that girl went to school. 
Too: Adverb. 1. To a higher degree than is desirable, permissible, or possible; excessively: He was typing too fast to notice his spelling errors. 
2. in addition, also: Is he joining the bad grammar club too?

7. Periods and Commas. Or rather, the misuse thereof.

The Comma: Indicates a pause between parts of a sentence. It is also used to separate items in a list and to mark the place of thousands in a large numeral.
Example:
Let's eat, grandma! (Much better than the alternative, "Let's eat grandma!" Punctuation saves lives.)
1,000
You Don't Wear What? - NoWayGirl
Commas, very important!

The Period: Indicates the end of a sentence or an abbreviation.

8. Your & You're.

Your: Possessive. Belonging to or associated with the person or people that the speaker is addressing. Your grammar is so horrible it makes me cry.
You're: Contraction. You are. (You are, You're. Huh. There's that funny coincidence again. Mind. Blown.)
Irony
"Grammar: the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit."

And that my friends, is all I have for today. Please take a few moments to let that all sink in. Your local grammar Nazi will thank you.

Including me.

Especially me.

Cheers! xoxo




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